You Tube Video 1

 

YouTube Video 2

 

What Was Unique In Your Adolescent Years Around Teenage Shame?

What is so unique at those adolescents years? , why are those years more than the preverbal shame, child shame or adult-onset shame? Why are those years, so distinct and unique? Then we need to know, what shame does during those years that is, different than previous or subsequent times?

The uniqueness of Adolescent shame at the time?

The profundity ( deep insight; great depth of knowledge or thought) of the shame itself at Adolescent years?

Recognize and Acknowledge the Difficulty of your shame?

– to recognize and acknowledge it’s Self Perpetuating and just to Shameful to Face,

– to recognize and acknowledge not just what you Think but the Way you Think.

-To recognize and acknowledge you Tended to Ignore the Most Significant area of shame of ALL. Whether it was infancy, child or adolescence,

-or the Intensity was just to Frightening just yet with the gut tightening feeling

To recognize and acknowledge any of those examples or your reasons.

-Or your Own Reasons, Independent of those reasons of why shame is genetically intricate and interwoven so tightly together and too complex for you.

-To recognize and acknowledge what was Unique in your Adolescent years the loneliness, the Withdrawl, the hiding, the avoiding, the wanting to run from everything, the feeling of being flawed and defective, not good enough, stupid, the pressure, scared, or how you withdrew from school pressures to drugs and porn to find freedom, how you cheated your way through, only focussed on escape, not growth,

Some of you as we say, you did not have too much Panic of Growing Up but High school was a Nightmare Trauma. At either way of the spectrum.

Some of your high school maybe it was the Trauma of mom, or no dad, or a drunken good for nothing idiot beating stepfather, that affected you because you were just in your teens,

-Maybe some of you were late bloomers 18,19 may be carried on Into the twenties.

-Maybe the Trauma of high school did not HIT you till you went to college when you thought it would be easier but at college more was expective of you and all maybe you know how to do was run to drugs, cocaine-like I did, to deal with the pain.

You need to define for yourself, which combination has twisted and distorted you and is unique to you, a unique setting for you.

Maybe it was the trauma of school or high school or the war of trauma within?

Maybe it was the panic, maybe it was the panic of growing up, to get good grades, or the rush of hormones, the shift in biology and psychology, sex, sexuality and Identity that really messed you up.

For many of you who have discovered your adult years, your sexuality was different from what the consensus tells you what it ought to be. You knew it then, maybe you would not admit it. Some of you didn’t know it then but many of you did, you knew, you preferred women as a man or woman preferred men or men are supposed to want women and women are supposed to want men, you may have denied it and played the wrong role and performed but new maybe it was the panic around this growing up.

Or maybe the wounding itself that was so profound or maybe it was just the fact of accumulation of shame finally showed its ugly face with the potency and causes of the power of the impact which made you want to run shrink and hide when too many problems came up. Maybe shoplifting, sex, drugs were your escape from the panic, the pain and the ghosts of the past.

Maybe it was the absence of a father all through childhood, the beatings, the denial, the heartache of no dad to only get another ass hole stepdad in your teens that went out of control and snapped on you when tension around the house was too much and how they also resorted to drugs and alcohol to cope with the pain. Maybe you could not talk to stepdads or your mom so you found refuge in drugs, alcohol and sex.

Maybe the constant fighting with mom. Over how she fucked you up. Or how she was stupid for not understanding. Maybe how she stood up in court and told the judge I don’t know what to do with my boy, and you felt abandoned, rejected, belittled, ignored and snap you broke.

The rebelling to show mom she was stupid for all her ass hole stepdads. To show her how much of a fuck-up I am because of how she allows them all to beat me.

Maybe it was the constant grounding for bad so-called behaviour when all you wanted was a listening ear but none were to be found. Only drugs, sex and alcohol.

Maybe the rebelling or the shoplifting for attention with so-called friends or the lack of money at home to feel like you can have nice things too. Maybe to break and enter houses for nice things to feel not poor.

You need to define for yourself, which combination has twisted and distorted you and is unique to you, a unique setting for you.

To Recognize and Acknowledge What Happened in your Shame. In the midst of pain, I searched for help but got a slap on the wrist, denial, rejection, grounding, and then you found drugs and running where your only so-called friend.

Or were you the one that had a fairly good childhood and adolescence then came full force called something else.

Really look and break down your own unique combination of teenage shame. Impacts and Outcomes and once you define you love this part of yourself.

To Adolescent shame accumulate becoming more overt or covert at that time and thought oh glad mom and dad are not doing that anymore. My brother or sister has gone off to college, no more favouritism or my sister has gotten married, more space for me, but now I have a new shame, I’m all alone and I have to deal with it. Is that what it did to you.

What did shame do to you at your Adolescent identity level, did you say I’ll never love again, I’ll give up, it’s too hard, no one cares, why to bother, or that I just have to find the perfect mate, soul mate lover, cosmic partner, or your good enough and nobody else is good enough for me, I’m okay your not okay you need to recognize these things.

Why it’s difficult

The uniqueness of the time

The profundity ( deep insight; great depth of knowledge or thought) of the shame itself

The Panic Of Growing Up And If This Wasn’t Enough At The Same Time They Put You In High School. The Trauma Of High School.

Regardless of what your high school years were like. Some of you were wonderful students, your teacher’s pet and they loved you and you were getting good grades and every college wanted you, you won these awards and you were president of a club and in good standing in a wide variety of activities, etc. Sort of thing.

Others of you were at the other end of the spectrum it was a, really traumatic time, probably not many here reading this but there are those in the world that were at the very bottom of that rank where the high school was a hell hole, a nightmare, the harshest time, waste of time, stupid, didn’t teach anything, picked on, loner, loser, no friends, beaten up, used drugs to escape, failed tests, no food, beaten by parents before school, etc. Most of you may not be able to relate to that because maybe you did not have friends around that group. For some, it was the most tragic trauma but for all, it was a trauma.

Now there are many factors to the trauma of high school but some of the most profound ones and the first one is the trauma of popularity, everybody is the big issue, you got to belong in high school to something or somebody, you got to belong and every high school knows, who are the smart kids but the egg heads, the smart kids but the cool ones, the smart kids and the nerds, smart kids and the geeks, the alright kids, nerds, kids and geeks, the progressive, the retards the ones that dont fit in groups, get picked on groups, the thrasher groups, rap groups, transgender groups, lesbian and gay groups, drug groups Totally out of it, weed pot smoking groups, party groups, musical groups, sports groups, the sexual ones, junior delinquent ones, the ones who will end up in jail, etc., there are so many kinds of groups and in high school, you know every group and you try to belong, I have to belong and I got to belong.

Even those who pride themselves on being a loner, I don’t belong I’m a loner, well I’m a loner too, no we won’t get together after school because we won’t be loners but we can still belong to that group of loners that don’t give a dam about anything and we belong at a distance, but we still belong. No membership, no senior sponsoring, no teacher overlooking but none the less we have our group we are the loners who don’t belong, skip school every day, can’t fit in, can’t find our place, lost, confused, nervous, scared, hopeless, helpless, etc. There is a bunch of them out there and I got to belong, popularity is critical.

Academics even if you’re getting good grades the pressure. You see when you’re in elementary school particularly many of you coming up in that sensing, many in their twenties and thirties you went to progressive schools where they did not grade you, you passed or you didn’t pass, you had problems that needed to be dealt with then all of a sudden you are thrown into high school, your an 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th or 12 th grader and you have grades A and B or C or D and you have a grade average. Teachers talk about grades more in high school you got an A you over there you failed or you are not doing that well and teachers think nothing of it announcing that not all of them but many of them, to announce you did poorly to everyone may force you to do better. That humiliation will do you good. They now know better but nonetheless but many grew up that they didn’t know better. Academics, you see for most of you got decent to good grades you can’t really imagine what’s it like to be someone who failed at everything

Perhaps how to relate it, is you have a job now what would it be like if every morning as soon as you got to your job you were criticized, told what a, fool you were, what a stupid person you are, how you will never amount to anything, you will never be good at your job, your going to get fired by ten o’clock you have been told this 12 times, by noon you have been given dirty looks, laughed, whispered about, you have been criticized, you have been put down, what would you do, you would quit. But you can’t quit high school, not till your sixteen.

For some kids that is what high school was a constant pounding into the pavement and they would study some of those kids, they didn’t study, yes some of them would study all night long and they just didn’t have what it took to fit into that system. Trauma of academics if you did well or not was a trauma.

Another thing that shame does in these adolescents years different than any other time in your life.

Everything Whether The Wonderful Things Or Terrible Things Become Life Consequences Are Much More In High School Than When You Were In Elementary School.

You See Everything Becomes A Life Consequence. There Is The Whole Identity Crisis Of Being A Teenager Of Not Knowing Who You Are And Not Being Able To Talk To Anyone About It. You Had No One To Really Talk To About All The Issues, Crisis, Identity, Life, Demands, Changes, What’s Really Going On With Your Life And You Don’t Know Who You Are.

Teenagers as much noise as they make, they talk less than any other age group. But they are on the phone all the time, that’s performing. Little kids talk. Infants talk they start you can’t shut them up. Teenagers, think about it, when you were a teenager or if you have teenagers. How was school today? Fine. How was….. Fine cool, neat, groovy, okay. They don’t talk, not to you. They perform for each other and they don’t talk to you.

Maybe you will talk to your friends then, no, teenagers perform for their friends they don’t talk to them. Think about it. You performed for your best most intimate friend. You performed for them. You could not talk to them about who am I or I am having an identity crisis and not expect that to be spread all over the school and used against you by them or someone body else. You can not sit down with your best friend and unload all that stuff because what if over the summer they make a new friend, or something happens between you two and everything goes wrong, now they hate you and now they spill the secrets all over. You do not talk to teenage friends you perform for them.

Maybe When you were a teenager you were the vocal ones, talked about the stuff of the day. I saw so and so and they were wearing this, can you believe what they said about so and so, did you see who they were going out with, did you hear the rumour, etc. How do you feel about all that cool, okay, neat, hip, awesome, groovy, far out, fine, etc depending on your age. You didn’t talk and that’s the time you need to talk the most and that’s the time you need to be taking all the time. Because you don’t know who you are and have no way of finding out.

Who do you talk to about identity crisis in high school?

Well, You can’t talk to your parents about what’s going on in your life and how the shame from childhood and the panic of being a teenager is causing an identity crisis. Maybe you can talk to your teachers. If not your teachers then your high school councillor, come on. Maybe there were the one or two high school councillors in the country who were wonderful, but you know what those high school councillors talk about, You want to take that job, fine, finish those courses, fine, then go to college, Fine I will. You are not going to talk to them about I don’t know who I am I have shame and I am going through an identity crisis. What to have it spread all over the school to every teacher or your friends seeing you go into the councillors office. Why do you keep going to the councillors office, oh discussing classes, college, etc?

Also, You See Everything Becomes A Life Consequence. If You Get A Good Grade You Going To Go Onto Greatness If You Get Bad Grades You Will Probably Struggle In Life.

Now there are many factors to the trauma of high school but one of the most profound ones are.

The pressure of life consequences. When you are 6 or 7 or 8 and 10 years old and you get in trouble, throw a spitball, steal someone’s ball, push somebody down, or throw mud in someone’s face it’s considered an adjustment problem. But when you are 16, 17, 18 and you push someone down you are a delinquent person (showing or characterized by a tendency to commit a crime, particularly minor crime.) others say to you and label you no good and you will end up in jail.

When you screw up, don’t do it, mess it up, do it wrong in 4th-grade shame on you, better do better, you don’t want your mommy and daddy to be upset, do you. When you don’t do your homework when you are 16teen or 17teen your are a total disgrace, total failure, disrespecting, procrastinator, not going anywhere in your life, you will never amount to anything, you will end up as a garbage man or in the back as some factory worker for the rest of your life. If you’re lucky.

You see everything becomes a life consequence. If you get a good grade your going to go on to greatness. If you made a touchdown in the last football game you’re going to get a scholarship to your favourite university and become a great pro and make millions of dollars and be on NFL. Everything whether the wonderful things or terrible things become life consequences is much more profound in high school than when you were in elementary school.

You got all A’s in 6th grade big deal, oh you got all A’s in high school your brilliant, you’re going to get an academic scholarship and make your family proud and we don’t have to pay for college. Everything is a life consequence on the top end and the bottom end of high school.

When I was in elementary I was held back in grade two, my teachers and parents organized a special program for me to learn, extra reading classes, read in front of the class, extra spelling and math tutors, etc., but

When I was in high school I was very ashamed of my low grades and what others thought and felt, especially when I told them I skipped school all the time, my grades were low and I dropped out in grade 10, then after a while, I homeschooled myself and then failed grade 10 and then I had to go to summer school to catch up. Others including friends, family, teachers and others say you better get your act together, what are you not almost 19 and have not graduated yet, you’re too close to the end of high school to play around, you will end up like them working a physical labour job and hurt yourself, you will fail if you don’t get down and study, you will be on welfare and go nowhere, etc. The shame around this from others and yourself cripple you. I reached a point with teen shame that I am a failure, I am not going to amount to anything, I will be a pub cook washing dishes my whole life, I’ll be just like my dad a loser, I’ll end up on welfare, I knew I could not do it, I knew I should not have tried, etc. Then I looked for the easy quick fix to just get by.

The Deep Wounding Of The Soul Happens During The Adolescents Years With All The Stresses, Panics, Pain And Demands Of Being A Teenager And Growing Up.

You get shut down as a teenager. Shame was the wounding but separate from that you get shut down and you crashed and burned. This is what makes these years so incredibly impactful. Most of the bad stuff of teenage years is ignored because most adults want to forget their teenage years. They want to forget the panic, they want to forget the trauma, they want to forget pain, they want to forget the demands, they want to forget the wounding, they want to forget the potent energy around teenage years. However, they do want to Remember that game we did, how our team won the tournament, remember that time of the slumber party, remember the graduation party, remember the skipping class and smoking weed, remember our new car, summer nights, swimming in the ocean, camping, etc, oh teenagers years was the best, I only want to remember only the fun times but they are doing is sugar-coating the facts by saying high school years were the greatest of years. The phrase, Those Adolescent Years I wish I was a kid again.

All this goes on and you forget.

Any of you who have teenagers right now they are going through it now and you will roll your eyes and wonder why they can’t act like you. They are probably acting just like you when you were there too. I never did that behaviour, sure you did, you just forgot. Different form different context but the same stuff. But you forget.

Every Teenager Regardless Of How Wonderful Or Horrible The Home Was Every Teenager Goes Through The Panic Of Growing Up And The Uncertainty Or Rather The Instability Or Chaos Of Growing Up.

Now to compound this potent impactful shame from childhood to teenager. Teenagers have to deal with the panic of growing up, some may say I could hardly wait to grow up, since I was a child I could hardly wait to grow up, drive, get out of the house and be on my own. Oh, what freedom. When I was 11 to 12 preteen age I used to stay up late grinding my teeth waiting to grow up to move out on my own and get out of this hell hole that’s called home. At 13 to 14, 12 was never good enough but 13 teen oh boy I am almost there, now 16 teen even closer. I can get out of here, never have to go to bed early, I can eat whatever I want, stay up late and drink and get drunk, I can drive, go see who I want, have over who I want, we can have sleepovers all the time. But by the time your 18 you don’t care, none the less you can hardly wait to get out of the house when you’re growing up.

Others of you never wanted to grow up you wanted to be a kid forever, sit on mommies lap, kiss, cuddle or stay very close to daddy and stay a baby or child forever playing, drawing, running, hid and seek. Often times we get jealous of other younger siblings, we wanted to stay young forever as Peter pan to fly off to never-never land where you don’t have to grow up. Where the biggest problem is the tick-tocking alligator and captain hook, that’s it. Life will just be a wonderful fairy tale.

Then comes puberty and All of a sudden hair on your face, underarms, chest and belly and your penis growing or your developing breasts and you start to have that thing called the time of month or moon time. Your menstruation. Names attached to it, by friends, society, other males and even my mother’s.

Then all of a sudden whether you wanted to or not you knew smak dad I’m growing up and whether it called your bluff or threatened your fantasy it was a panic. We don’t care if you were eager to grow up and get out of the home at age 14 or whether at 16 still pretending you were six there is the panic of growing up that impacted each of you. There is chaos.

Every teenager regardless of how wonderful or horrible the home was every teenager goes through the panic of growing up and the uncertainty or rather the instability or chaos is handled with absolute beliefs and attitudes.

Teenagers at a constant state of instability and chaos and create stability with absolute. Listen to teenagers everything is black and white there are no greys there are no alternatives, there is no consideration, everything is good or bad or right or wrong, mine yours everything is black and white and Nothing is in between and they do this not because they are stupid, not because they are teenagers because they are trying to respond to the instability. Everything is up in the air if they can have some foundation of absolute belief. All men are and all boys are, all girls are all women are, all parents are, all Canadians are, all democratic are, all liberals are, etc., there is never variants of grey. Absolute belief and attitude and they do that in order to create stability and to bring an end to the chaos.

The uncertainty and the chaos have made certain with judgments. Probably the most judgmental people are adolescence. They are absolute and they have no sense around those judgments. They are bad they should die. They good they should live. This is my best of the best friend, most intelligent, most wonderful, most fantastic then till the next day then my best friend is the most terrible, disgusting stupid, never going to amount to anything, etc. And now you over there is my new best friend, you are the most wonderful, greatest, fantastic and I am even greater than that because I am your friend, then till Tom when you over there will be my best friend.

These absolute judgments about everything. The teenagers handle the chaos and discomfort they make it comfortable with life decisions. You and many of you made these decisions, you forget but you made them.

Teenagers Create Absolutes To Create Comfort Or Stability And Certainty In A Totally Chaotic World.

WhenTeenagers have shame they make the absolute the life choice, it doesn’t matter what I do now I got it set out there, that makes it comfortable. These absolute beliefs, absolute thoughts and feelings, absolute life decisions, I’ll never be happy again, I’ll never amount to anything, I’ll never be your friend again, You know if you could not go to the school dance sat night you were going to die if you could not go, move to the next town, I mine as well never be happy again, I’ll never have friends again, I’ll never trust anybody again, I’ll never love again, I’ll never have anybody love a matter a fact ill never have a boyfriend or girlfriend again. Absolutes to create comforts or stability and certainty in a totally chaotic world.

Adolescents do this all the time that’s part of the panic of growing up and the pressures around school and life, family, etc. The panic that hits every one of them regardless of every one of you, regardless of the facts and figures that surrounded it.

Also, part of this panic of growing up comes with this very on slot of hormones, with this on slot of hormones What happens when you suffer that kind of pain of being abused or being abandoned or being taught in that infant time when at that time you are wronged, the pain is such that your brain releases endorphins, endorphins are like morphine. The brain releases endorphins, the problem is at that time your brain is, too fragile, your brain is still too new, your neural connections as we will are still too young. That all of a sudden you overdose with endorphins it can burn out in a certain sense parts of your neural structure, parts of the nerve endings, it can alter the patterns of chemistry in your brain.

Now you know if you take morphine, a little bit of it can kill the pain if you overdose it can kill you. You know anyone who has attempted hallucinating drugs a little bit can make you high and feel terrific and fantastic but if you took a whole bunch of you it could kill you. Well, the same happens naturally in the brain. When you release endorphins like you do when you laugh or eat chocolate, that you do when you feel happy, when you smile, when you stimulate your thymus it releases endorphins and that makes you feel good but if you overload it can make you feel bad.

A type of beta-endorphin that is 200 more times powerful than morphine and is found among suicidal patients, not just saying it to have mom’s care but genuine suicidal people have this Beta-Endorphin that is 200 times more powerful than morphine. Can you imagine the kind or amount of pain they must have been in to have or force their body to release that kind of endorphin?

Also, serotonin is Triggered by Tryptophan. Tryptophan in the right amounts assists infants with development. Serotonin assists with anxiety keep you calm, cool and collective when you’re under fire. But in that particular sense, it also can reversely impact the body and when there is overload serotonin it can do neuronal damage and never-ending damage.

Some of you as infants had a level of shame that did chemical alterations in your brain. Tik Tok the biological clock moves through childhood, then you come to puberty then all of a sudden the hormones open flood the body and the chemistry floods the body and this is a lot of reasons why some teenagers are genuinely suicidal, they are not just making it up, they are not just being dramatic, some are, yes. But some are legitimately suicidal because all of a sudden the body is flooded with a beta-Endorphin (en-dog-en-ous opioid neuropeptide and peptide hormone that is produced in certain neurons within the central nervous system and per-iph-er-al nervous system.), that is 200 more powerful than morphine and they see no reason to live.

Yes, it is mixed up with their absolute judgments and their absolutes of thoughts and feelings and their absolutes of life’s decisions and yes they are overdramatic and all of that. But some of them under it are genuinely suicidal or emotionally disturbed. The Parent may say, They were fine I don’t know what happened to them they were such a beautiful little baby, they were such an adorable little child, they were such a well-behaved child, now they have turned into some sort of psychological monster, it may be chemical and it may be shame.

Those of you who remember and look back with a certain embarrassment and a certain sense of your own shame at your adolescents years how could I have been like that, it well could have been the shame that produced a chemical on slot along with hormonal on slot that produced that behaviour.

 

If You Do Not Heal Your Shame Before First Break Puberty Your Chemistry, Brain And Total Development Of Body Will Be A Shame-Based Body And Brain.

During your childhood the thalamus gland and hypothalamus gland within the brain, the governors of the brain and the body, the brain within the brain, to grow and develop the body. The thalamus gland is in charge of growing the body not linear not logically but instead exponentially.

All those out there and they look at metaphysics snub it because it’s not linear and it’s not logical and thank God your not. If you grew logically you would be a mess. How do you grow a body logically, do you start with the bones, realize the mess your bones become grown-up bones without the muscles or the veins or skin. All of a sudden you have this skeleton sticking out of the bottom of your foot, oh the baby is growing logically. In a few years, the skin and muscle will catch up with the bones. Logically do we start left foot or right foot. Which side of the body, logical. Now when you’re going to grow a face, do you grow an eyeball first, no that is silly, what about the socket, lean forward and the eye would fall out. Then there are the veins that have to grow, the arteries that have to grow. It all has to be done together in symphony, that’s not logical. That’s not linear that’s exponential.

The thalamus gland is the one that oversees all of that. When you reach your teenage years what’s happening, well for the most part you have your adult stature yes you may gain or reduce weight. In several years if you get osteoporosis you may shrink but beyond that, you pretty much have your body structure when you hit those adolescent years.

What happens in that sensing the elegance of the system, the thalamus doesn’t tier it switches its job function to not growing the body but instead protecting the body, its in charge of the immune system. If this, endocrine system is adversely affected by shame it can alter the growing and developing pattern. More and more distinctive it can alter the health pattern.

That’s where you notice a bunch of adolescence become sick during those adolescent years. They seem to be healthy as a kid, they were healthy as an ox, they could eat anything and do anything, they ate dirt, they ate worms, they picked up gum on the bottom of chairs, etc. But then you hit those teenage years and the slightest wind you got the cold you have the flu, you got this, you got that. It’s because they are interacting with someone else sick, no it’s because shame has penetrated the immune system. Because it is a chemical response in the body.

That’s how invasive shame can be. Some people become sickly in those adolescents years and never really recover.

Heal your shame and you boost your immune system.

Some of you can look back and say when I was 17 teen,that’s when and never did really heal and I have always been weak, etc. Ever since absolutely.

Shame Not Only Impacts What You Think And Feel It Also Impacts For Some Of You The Way You Think And The Way You Feel.

Shame is one of those topics where others will say that does not apply to me, I’ll just keep going. I can’t learn anything about that topic, it wouldn’t help at all. Or they came to one shame, they may learn about the preverbal shame of infancy but when it came to terrible twos of childhood, or even teen shame no no no, that doesn’t apply to me.

Since Shame is so self-perpetuating and because it is so painful for some the shame produces its own shame, therefore, makes for the intricacy and difficulty of a perplexing subject, that may be a difficulty for some of you reading this. Therefore, we congratulate you on your courage to come and read and do the work even though shame is so very painful too.

For others of you, the reason may deal with the particular uniqueness of the debility or weakness of shame. Shame does impact you emotionally but you knew that but it also impacts you physically, often something you don’t know or readily forget.

Shame produces a chemical response in the brain. Shame alters the function of the endocrine system, alters the function of the nervous system, it alters the communication system, the network of communication between the portions of the brain, therefore in the function of the body. Shame Can impact you physiologically, alter your very own growth patterns. But as well as impacting you emotionally and physically, shame not only impacts what you think and feel it also impacts for some of you the way you think and the way you feel. The way you go about doing that of thinking and feeling.

It’s not just the thoughts or feelings that you have that come up it’s what you do with them, how you respond to them, how you react to them that was also impacted by the very shame its self. That function of debility may be more crippling to you than say others, more crippling to you in certain other other limitations in your reality that you may experience within that reality.

Also, the accumulation of shame for many becomes internalized, internalized is a lovely psychological term but what it means is that you become the source. You see some of you had Shame from the preverbal shame, into the childhood and into the adolescent years and even beyond but it is accumulating like a snowball getting larger and larger and it has to go somewhere. So you internalize both the offence and the offender.

It’s not that you forgot what happened to you or you forget who did it in some psychological ploy of numbing yourself out you even go beyond that where you become the offender, you are the source of your shame and you become the perpetrator of the offence.

So when you start looking to your childhood, infancy, even adolescent years you can’t seem to find what’s there because you are the offender and you are perpetuating the offence. It is very difficult for example for a person that is abusing or abandoned in a shame-producing way, shame-based way, to face, confront or deal with their own shame when they are now acting it out and now passing it on when they are their own offender.

There are a few of you here who have that. It may be why it’s so perplexing and complexing for you to deal with.

Why Is Your shame Personally And Particularly So Difficult To Work With.

What Is Important For You Is To Know Why Is Shame, The Generic Concept So Difficult To Work With.

In order to deal with this uniqueness of shame basically, there are things we must accomplish together.

It is important for you is to know why shame, the class or group or generic concept is more difficult to work with. One needs to look at, not remember a list of however many but you know it is too painful for you. The person next to you may not be too painful for them, but for you it is.

Or is it because of the debility not only physical weakness it is mental, emotional and physical but not only what you think and feel but the way you think and feel?

Or perhaps for you, it has accumulated and whatever way you have become your own offender who does something wrong or causes problems. Having internalized the shame since there was nowhere else to put it

Or you did focus on one wave, Ethier infant, child, teen or adult shame and succeed beautifully and ended up sabotaging with the other waves,

You need to know what your reason is for why shame is so difficult. All of them, no it’s not. One more than the other yet there may be some we have not mentioned. We offer these as, examples but from those examples a catalyst to understand why your shame is for you personally and particularly so difficult to work with.

Beyond that what is so unique at those adolescents years? , why are those years more than the preverbal shame, child shame or adult-onset shame? Why are those years, so distinct and unique? Then we need to know, what shame does during those years that is, different than previous or subsequent times?

You see that is important to understand, it’s not just shaming, shame, Shame, no it is different, each wave is different. Shame occurs during these sets of years and it happens in this unique way during those years that is, what makes shame so bloody difficult. But if you can understand that and unravel that then it can be an incredibly easy deal with.

After those years when you become an adult you straightened out became a worthwhile person again and managed to fix up the mess you made to compensate for your defect, your flaw

That is the trauma and shame that comes with high school.

The trauma of high school plus the trauma of growing up. The shame has been accumulating or begins.

This time around teenage years is so potent, so powerful, so traumatic, so wounding, so much pressure and so many demands.

 

Chris Parr

Sirian And Lemurian Wisdom And Teachings